This girl is more easily done than said...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
