i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
