Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just found a bag of teeth...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
