My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize