He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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