Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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