Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Say something about gay babies.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I could fuck to npr.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
