it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
