census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
