ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
