Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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