Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
