i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
