from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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