Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
