A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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