Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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