I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's not cheating when I paid for it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
