Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
