yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
