Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize