drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
