dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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