Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
