Say something about gay babies.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
