I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
