it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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