spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
