I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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