I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize