If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
