So drunk its hurt
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
