Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
North Korea, Best Korea!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize