Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
