He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
