whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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