I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
