Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
