Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sponge bath it is.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
