He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
