he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
