I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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