Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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