i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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