So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
