I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
