There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
