I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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