moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
