She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
