I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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