3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
