If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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