i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you had me at cake vodka
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize