why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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