Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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