Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
