quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
