My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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