walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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