When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
