I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
