i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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