I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
