Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
worst night to have a conscience
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
