I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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