I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you never un-have a 4some
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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