Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
