that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
