got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
