I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
