So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
