She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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